Majeossi's Battle Aganst
the Cyber Paradise
马叔大战西巴乐园
引子·八百年前
Prologue ·800 Years Ago
字數：862 Words
訖自天水祚終，黑韃北虜入據，虜主孛兒只斤，冒用中土包氏為號，以幽淵之地為巢窟，宰治天下，僭越稱帝。
Ever since the fall of the Skywater dynasty, the northern barbarians—the dreaded Black Tartars—stormed into the CenterLand. Leading them was a Tartar chieftain named Bao, a Borjigin by blood, boldly posing with the CenterLand surname.
He carved out his throne in the pitch-black swamps, ruling the land beneath the sky, and brazenly crowned himself emperor.
百姓们惊恐道：包帝真黑！黑，太黑了！
The people of Center Land cried out in shock: “Emperor Bao is so dark… so utterly dark!”It was a pun, a double meaning describing his wickedness.
The citizens had no choice but to vent their frustration this way.
为了拯救万民，东印、西朝、南俄、北越四大高手齐聚，与包帝决战大明之巅。
To save the people of Center Land, four heroes had gathered.
There wasBharado, the eccentric from the East;Chosun, the venomous one from the West;Rossiya, the ruler of the South; andVietkong, the impoverished warrior from the North.
Together, they launched their challenge against Emperor Bao. And the roof of the Grand Radiant Sanctuary—the palace's magnificent holy hall—was to become the battlefield for their ultimate showdown!
就在此时，神秘高手冲破大明殿正脊，将四大高手击败。
Just then, a mysterious powerhouse tore through the palace roof and struck down the four heroes in an instant!
来者何人？！速速通报姓名！！包帝大骇道。
"Who the hell are you?! Speak your name!" Emperor Bao shouted in terror.
来人曰，我乃正白旗出生的吴精中神吞!
"I am NoDutong—you may call me 'No Capital'—from the Dorgon clan, the clan of the White Boars. In this CenterLand, I can devour anything in my path—nothing can stop me!" he declared.
包帝见吴精头戴红缨帽儿，大悦，曰，既然你我俱是红缨鞑子，那快快前来救驾！
"White Boars… so you're a barbarian too!" Bao pointed at NoDutong's pointed hat adorned with red tassels, then at his own even more lavish red-tassel-topped hat.
"You wear a red-tassel hat, and I wear a red-tassel hat—we are both Tatar barbarians with red-tassel hats!" Emperor Bao roared with delight. "Hurry! Come and rescue your emperor at once!"
随即命令吴精击杀四大高手，并许以战狼图腾尊号和高官厚禄。
Emperor Bao immediately commanded NoDutong to slay the four heroes, promising to crown him with the Battle Wolf crest and grant him unimaginable power, unchallenged authority, and treasures beyond mortal reckoning.
然而，吴精却使用吸精大法，一下将包帝吸成鱼干一般。
Suddenly, to everyone's disbelief, NoDutong ignored Emperor Bao's orders and unleashed a life-draining spell, ripping the emperor's very essence from him.
Stripped of almost all his vitality, Emperor Bao shriveled up, pitiful and ridiculous, like a dried fish left out in the sun.
吴精还边吸边吼道：恁不认得通天纹么！也敢教我做事！！
As NoDutong unleashed his spell, he snarled at Emperor Bao for daring to treat him like a mere servant.
He bellowed, "Behold the Skybound Sigil on my forehead! You dare not command me!"
四大高手乘机发动魔封波，将正白旗出生的吴精，以及被吸成鱼干的包帝双双封入电饭锅之中。
As Emperor Bao teetered on the brink of having every last drop of his life force drained by NoDutong, the four heroes unleashed a joint demon-sealing spell, trapping both the ruthless, lawless NoDutong and the pitiful, ridiculous, shriveled-up Emperor Bao inside a rice cooker.
巴拉巴拉，巴拉巴拉……狭窄的三手出租车内，一脸兴奋的老伯李顺财，举着一个贴满符咒的破旧电饭锅，向着一脸懵逼的司机马加西炫耀道：这就是这个珍贵的古董那离奇曲折的来历！！
Inside a rattling, cramped, battered taxi bouncing down the street, Grandpa Li Shuncai, eyes sparkling with excitement, hoisted up a battered rice cooker covered in talismans and addressed the utterly bewildered cabbie Majeossi: "That tale you just heard? That's the the wild, fantastical, twisted history of this priceless antique! "
马叔大战西巴乐园
Majeossi's Battle Aganst
the Cyber Paradise